“Notice God, Notice Others.”

Steve Sjogren was just interviewed by Char with WBCL during their Mid-Morning show. Steve and Char discuss how to have outward-focused living in a self-focused world.

I am in the final throes of writing-editing a book with Regal – thus the lack of blogging recently – all apologies for that. The blogging frequency will increase shortly.

A story contained in this book fits nicely with this weekend’s Father’s Day (it is now posted on Amazon with a March, ’09 release date).

Loneliness is perhaps the most intense of human emotions.

This single word might well explain much that is behind the challenges of cultures across the world today.

overeating (compulsive eating cures most voids, right?)

website popularity (the most visited websites have one thing in common – in the words of Grace Slick, ‘Don’t you need somebody to love… we all need somebody to love… we just want somebody to love…)

habitual behaviors rooted in obsessions

When we engage in our lack that may be real we begin to melt down. It is best to look beyond that all-too-accurate reality to what is available to us beyond our resource.

My dad passed away rather suddenly the summer of my twelfth year. This sent me into a major emotional tailspin for months into the school year of junior high. When basketball started up I found playing time a welcome relief to the emotional intensity that was playing in the backdrop of my mind like a calculus challenge 24/7.

The one thing I was desperate to hear was a bit of assurance… the simple signal that all was going to return to stable – that one day clear sailing would return.

The new kid on our team was Ken. He was a tall among humans even at that point – he measured in at about 6’8”. For giggles Ken could reach up to the basketball netting with no leap whatsoever. By springing just a couple of more inches he could do serious damage to the rim. I loved yelling at our opponents who were not yet aware of our secret weapon – ‘Did you bring your adult diapers? You may need them!’ (Is ‘taunting’ a spiritual gift?)

Our entire strategy was simple:

Get ball.

Dribble ball carefully downcourt – SJOGREN NOTHING FANCY!

Pass ball to Ken. Ken will take care of the rest.

Sure enough Coach Day’s strategy worked. Ken scored the points. Yet we were a team just the same.

In only one game did we fail to more than double the other team’s score! We didn’t just win, we nearly sent them into therapy (all apologies to Kingman, KS Jr. High’s team that year – the quadrupling of your score was not intentional…)

Years later when Ken headed up the University of Kansas’ bid in the NCAA playoffs he took them all the way to the ‘Sweet 16.’ His guards and forwards overshot. There were lots of ‘air-balls’ yet Ken persevered and made over 30 points in the last and losing game.

The only thing I could think of as the game proceeded was the simple strategy from years gone by, ‘Just throw it to Ken and it will be alright.’

God shows up to do what no one can accomplish. He fills us / heals us in ways we are not aware we are needy.

Here’s to all the myriad of fatherless fathers who wonder, ‘What in the world am I doing in this father gig? I don’t speak this language, but I am called to be fluent…’

Fathers, replace the above line ‘Ken’ with ‘Holy Spirit.’ Make that our super direct strategy. We are ready to roll.

Be sure to tune in tonight on Shapevine where I’ll be sharing a summary of my new book coming out with Regal Publishing.

One of the main thoughts of the book is how you can move from a “3 to an 8,” as a leader and as a church. The simple idea is that many leaders have been laboring under the burden of trying to become something or someone that they are not called, not made to be. As a former 4th grade teacher I have discovered there are no “10s” but Jesus, and there is rarely a “9″ (someone with a Billy Graham level of personality/gifiting)

But all of us, when we are in sync with the distinct calling and gifting of God, can flow powerfully as an “8.” However, when we try to mimic someone else and are not living spontaneously in the unique thing that God has called us to be, we will live with massive frustration. We will not experience the joy of the spontaneous life of the Holy Spirit living in side of us. And most tragically, we will never even get close to accomplishing what Jesus has called us to live out, which are amazing unique things that only we and the group we lead can live out at this point in history.

I hope you are able to log on and interact with the webcast tonight at 8pm… it’s going to be fun!

Drumroll please. Here’s a ‘Tah-Dah’ that might actually open a peeper or two. If you have been asleep, ask someone to wake you by whatever means necessary – (yes, there is now and then a good reason to sign the ‘Whatever It Takes’ waiver – for times just like today.)

RISE AND SHINE BUEHLER! (high voltage cattle prod, stun device of your favorite accessory color, or a flick on the ear ala Mr. Schmidt your 10th grade earth science teacher).

Before - we - can - convey – a – bit – of – information – regarding – God’s – kingdom – we must – begin – to - regain - credibility – with - not - yet – believers.

We - must - make - amends - for - the - Bozo - shenanigans - the - Church - has - done - to – people – REAL – OR – IMAGINED - even – though – we – likely – disagreed – with – said – matters.

There is much more to explain than this opening thought. But make no mistake. We are in the middle of the Church age that requires us to seek forgiveness with nearly all we connect with before any hope of credibility is established.

Chew on this. Stay tuned kids. There’s more!

I’m making a New Year’s resolution… now that it’s late May.

I caught onto the futility of the resolution thing a long time ago and stopped doing them. Such things are useless in my mind (no offense unless the shoe fits…) To do so is akin to

“And this year I’m going to push a different colored car uphill while the transmission is in ‘Drive’ with the engine off and the parking brake set.”

In other words, ‘Can’t get there from here.’

Resolutions accomplish one thing. To those paying close attention – they point out we can do nothing apart from God’s intervention in our trek continually. Even with such an ‘Interventional life’ we are going to screw things up in a jolly big way. Guaranteed.

“So,” you ask, “why the resolution since you are so not into it?” I use this merely as an expression, not as something I’m seriously seeking to accomplish with a mighty college effort. The goal here is to zero in on the matter closest to Jesus’ heart (that is, if the Scriptures are to be taken seriously).

Gathering - is - priority - one.

Okay, that’s not news. Gathering is just a new fangled way of saying ‘Evangelism.’ Many have made this point over and over and over… (someone do me a favor and hit the ‘endless loop’ feature on the GarageBand software). ‘There are no ordinary people. All are extraordinary because they are all everlasting. They are all created by God. He loves them all beyond our ability to grasp a percentile of.

Just a thought to put on the back burner: The word ‘Evangelism’ is so vastly misunderstood maybe we are wise to invest some time as leaders / activists digging into the ‘E-word’ as I dubbed it in Conspiracy of Kindness fifteen years ago. (The word is a combination of ‘message’ and ‘angels’ – roughly translated, ‘The message of the angels.’ Lay that next to the outworking we see today and the above suggestion begins to bear merit).

Everybody Needs a Model Or Two To Be Effective

‘People never do what you say - only what you do
…then only after you have salted them down…’

What / Who Is An Approximate Leader Metaphor You Relate To?

As we venture through life, influential personalities pass our way. Some of these are distant influencers. They touch us through their books, blogs – the proverbial ship passing in the night. Others stay longer. Rarely does an influential we come to love and respect leave without heat though. ‘Parting is with great sorrow’ as Shakespeare captured it so well. This fascinating dynamic is a worthwhile study in various biographies that are honest enough to get past the silly surface-grin and down to what we all know to be the real story we all suffer through. (Bobby Clinton has a grasp on this matter as well any anyone on the planet. His tomes The Making of A Leader and Connecting are in my top 100 list of ‘Just Gotta Buy, Read, and Re-Read.’ Don’t ask for this list – it’s not together yet…)

(NOTE: I officially no longer waste my time actually ‘reading’ books unless they ‘re-read’ worthy. As many know, I am a graduate of the ‘Evelyn Wood-Head Sped-Redding School of Sped Redding’ to quote Cheech and Chong. I do scan lots of books still – but scanning and carefully reading are far different matters.)

All effective leaders have lived long enough to realize they lack the marbles to accomplish the humongous goal Jesus has placed in their heart. To get there, some amazing, serendipitous supply is needed. The greatest part of God’s supply will always arrive in the form of content – the wisdom God provides that can come from people alone.

Question:

Is there a metaphor you can use to help people relate to your leadership style?

There are numerous aspects needed to describe the breadth of how you relate as a leader:

• The communication aspect of your leadership
• The way you connect with people; the way you don’t connect (more important)

People now tell me who I remind them of so I don’t really need a metaphor often.

May I recommend one to you if you are searching or starting out?

Jack Black – the funny man who is all about finding the good in people and is not afraid to climb into situations or fend for the downtrodden.
Best of all – Jack is self-deprecating. It is hard to not follow one like this. Today, if you can’t tell on yourself, be yourself, you are sunk.

Mind you, however, that with Jack as a metaphor there come built-in weaknesses to be aware of…

You are an easy target by weak, opportunistic leaders around you who are not living vulnerably.

If you like this topic, tune in to Steve Sjogren’s free one-hour coaching session on ShapeVine.com. Look on that site for the next scheduled coaching session. There you can see, hear, ask questions with the cutting edge technology employed by the ShapeVine.com site.

Have you noticed that on every cover of Oprah’s magazine she is smiling? Think what you want, but I believe her smile is sincere. She does nothing for financial gain—that point in her life passed long ago. For Oprah, it’s about spiritual meaning.

Measuring America’s Spiritual Hunger
If spiritual health is measured according to outward matters, the decline of the Roman, Protestant (you name it) empire is upon us. But maybe spiritual health is not so one-dimensional as 30-second phone polls can measure when we are disturbed in the evening hours.

Attendance, size, the counting of heads is not the sole barometer most “Influentials” in history have relied upon to measure the state of true spiritual affairs.

Jesus did not pay one spit of attention to the fluctuating attendance of the crowds who showed up when He spoke. If He had bought into this emotional roller coaster of such passing silliness, confusion would have perhaps ensued.

If we insist on counting something, Jesus might encourage us to count backward—to measure what we divest ourselves of. America has had it with “come and see” spirituality. Now is the day of “go and do.” And Jesus launched that movement some time ago.

Does Oprah Understand What Others Don’t?
Oprah has vast spiritual influence over most of the Western world. When Oprah speaks, things happen.

This is no news flash, though. Oprah’s vast influence extends beyond the media scene and into the deepest parts of the spiritual heart of the United States. How? you wonder. She is in touch with non-complex heart leanings in each of us—inclinations that have been placed in us by God.

On her hit prime-time show, Oprah’s Big Give, Oprah has noticed the power generosity has to change lives. Like every reality show, this one has an abundance of adrenaline-filled contestants. Jumping abounds. There is an unnatural amount of smiling going on. But her show is unique as well. The winner is the one who gives away the greatest amount of money over several weeks—in as wise ways as possible.

Ms. Oprah has tapped into the depths of all of us. It’s the “if money were no object” dream we talk about—and this dream is becoming viral. Everyone is chatting about it. This virus might just get out of control, in the best sense.

Kindness, Schmindness. So What?
Kindness is a word that has been bandied about in recent years. We confuse it with similar words (like niceness), but it stands head and shoulders above synonyms.

You might wonder, Why bring God into this consideration? The “God factor” is what distinguishes kindness from niceness or other even less powerful encounters. Any of us can be nice when the mood strikes us, when we are feeling rested, well, etc. Kindness is another matter completely. Kindness, to be clear, is only possible when God shows up.

You and I don’t know each other, but this I suspect about you: Regardless of how broken your upbringing may have been, there were moments when kindness occurred along your journey.

I did not grow up attending church (to be accurate, I was downright skeptical of all things church-ish), but I can now see the seeds of kindness that were scattered into my soul, which led to a profound conversion during college. Those seeds were slow-growing, undetected, but they eventually bore fruit. It was God at work beneath the surface.

When our lives have been touched by authentic kindness, we tend to never forget those moments. They are everlasting, living encounters. Only the God of the universe can orchestrate such.

Friend or Faux?
In recent years, many have begun to notice the latent power of kindness, serving and generosity. More than a small percentage of spiritual organizations have sought to use kindness as a tool—something to promote a message. In that equation, the understanding is: We serve; then people will listen. Kindness is not a tool one can use to gain advantage over others!

Any thinking in this direction is to manipulate both God and His people. Neither God nor most people will put up with such nonsense. People are not oblivious when agendas are present. To be kind but not genuine is to destroy the possible conveying of any positive message.

Indeed, a message will be conveyed—a tragic one where cocooning occurs. That is, those in the community isolate themselves further and further away from anything down the road that is real.

Breaking Free
When God’s kindness is loosed, a culture begins to build. Each day I connect with many people in simple ways that ease their burdens—much like Oprah. One hundred percent of them ask why I am showing them practical kindness (paying for their Starbucks drink, showing them respect by remembering their names at the places I frequent, getting cashiers a bottle of water and insisting they take it).

There is plenty to chat with people about when kindness is afoot. Let’s just go and do with a clean heart.

Short People Got No… Need For Toilet Plungers

… of strengths, limits, liabilities

While in Denver recently doing some city-wide training with leaders, I stayed with some friends. They have renovated a house that is beautiful, ornate… and has old plumbing.

This couple have children that are adults, are out of the house. Both of them are just over five feet tall. Their children are about the same size. Fortunately they are Hispanic so they have not been tortured by Hobbit jokes (Hobbits look nothing like a Central or South American).

Here’s the problem: I am nearly 6′3″. In ALL WAYS my life is different than theirs for the most part.

Without ruining your appetite for the next 48 hours, I will put this delicately. These kind, wonderful folks were gone most of the day when I arrived. That’s fine by me - I write all day. Just need oxygen, water, a Venti Starbucks dark blend, enough half and half to color the coffee khaki and three Splendas. I’m in my own world(s) for 8 to 12 hours. Nature does call however. When it did, their flushing mechanism was clearly not designed for people of normal size - IE, over 5 feet tall and all that goes with that (enough said). Upon a search, I discovered they have no plunger. I called them. “We’ve lived there for fifteen years and have never needed a plunger.”

“Do you ever have people over five feet tall here visiting?”

“As a matter of fact, only family visits. You’re right - they are all rather short like us. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

I walked down the street to Wal-Mart and bought them their first two plungers (Sam’s was less expensive but they didn’t need two dozen).

In writing and posting this blog I hope you as a reader can appreciate the risk I am taking with those who - uh, aren’t members of the Servant Evangelism or Steve Sjogren Fan Club.

But hey, I’m game for stepping out on the limb to make a point or two.

1. Leaders, it’s time to face up to our limitations.

The notion of the Peter Principle - we tend to gravitate to our greatest strength - then we take one more step. That last step occurs when others ‘promote’ us and we don’t speak up… when we fail to tell them, “I’m not about this. I’m not qualified. I’m not called. There is not fruit here. I’ve gotta be me.”

Re-read Dr. Peter’s book (you can find it on Amazon). Memorize the simple principles. Pray for utter, cut-throat self-honesty. If you don’t, you are dooming yourself and those around you - most sadly your family who choose loyalty to you in spite of an utter lack of skill, anointing, ‘getty-up.’

2. With strengths (some think being 6′3″ is a good thing) always come liabilities.

Real short on this. You are a genius at something. SomeTHING as in singular. You may do another thing that is pretty outstanding. There may be a third matter you are way above average. If you are a wise person, you will develop those three - then gather a team around you. You will not need to apologize for being who God made you to be. You will merely need to be brutally honest. To fake or miscommunicate on the fourth matter and beyond…

To quote the prophet Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’

- the fine art of church suicide

“My word… I now know for certain. My church has lost its collective mind…” - Bob, the cowboy commentator and church consultant

My friend Bob looked up from reading the blog on his laptop. He pulled off his reading glasses with some drama as he does when miffed (an effective technique - you might consider picking up a pair of spectacles whether you need them or not).

Bob explained his ‘Mad-as-a-hornet, can’t take no more’ response.

He wasn’t one bit negative. Deep love and pain was emerging.

“I’ve always thought when someone takes their own life that they are out of their mind - at least at that moment. Maybe this holds true for groups when they do the same…”

Bob’s words hung in the air - like a slow moving indoor cloud hovering in the room. Bob spoke a drop dead amazing truth.

One thing is certain - 100% of the innumerable groups who succeeded in a suicide attempt - not one was thinking clearly at the moment of the ultimate deed.

Is there a pattern that leads up to a church or a spiritual movement to self-destruct? Ponder these common patterns that lead up to what lemmings do each spring.

•Celebrating The Tragedy of Others… other leaders / churches!

“They finally got what was coming them them / him / her. Yep, God got ‘em good. You can’t fool Him…”

If you haven’t thought this or said it you likely aren’t thinking back hard enough. Human nature makes such behavior tendencies natural to us all. Call it “The Martha Stewart Effect.” She goes to prison without protesting the initial sentence dished out to her. Amazingly, the vast majority of Americans decided they hated Martha - they decided to enthusiastically believe the worst about her. There is something particularly savory about believing the worst about those who have been highly successful in life. This goes double for the leaders of large churches. ‘They are large because they are doing something that’s not kosher…’ (No names here please…)

Recommend: Start praying for a church each week like this, “God we ask you to bless this other church today - we ask you to profoundly touch them today more than us…”

•Church Suicide Comes From The Passive Condoning of Toxic Attitudes
Rarely will leaders in the local church clearly say aloud what is as negative as what is carried about in the heart. “We really don’t like people who aren’t like us…” Who in their right mind would cop to that?… especially official leaders. Yet can you explain how it is that great public efforts are taken to increase attendance yet the ‘backdoor’ siphons more out than in?

Recommend: If you are one who speaks or has a voice into the leadership, be candid about your heart. Fear keeps us stuck and away rather than toward people. To like people is more costly than to love people very often!

•Church Suicide Begins With Bombastic Attitudes
“We really are all that - and more!” No comment necessary.

Recommend: Pray with an honest, open heart. Start with confessions. When God shows up honesty tends to happen.

Bob never told me what upset him that day. That wasn’t the point. He loves his heritage. Even more he loves the Church at large - as do I on both points. Maybe we are on the same boat as it works in fellow-ship.

Check out this recent radio interview with Steve Sjogren and Colin Lambert on the Moody Broadcasting Network! Steve and Colin discuss Outflow and learning to notice your way into other people’s lives.