Category — Challenging

I am in the final throes of writing-editing a book with Regal – thus the lack of blogging recently – all apologies for that. The blogging frequency will increase shortly.

A story contained in this book fits nicely with this weekend’s Father’s Day (it is now posted on Amazon with a March, ’09 release date).

Loneliness is perhaps the most intense of human emotions.

This single word might well explain much that is behind the challenges of cultures across the world today.

overeating (compulsive eating cures most voids, right?)

website popularity (the most visited websites have one thing in common – in the words of Grace Slick, ‘Don’t you need somebody to love… we all need somebody to love… we just want somebody to love…)

habitual behaviors rooted in obsessions

When we engage in our lack that may be real we begin to melt down. It is best to look beyond that all-too-accurate reality to what is available to us beyond our resource.

My dad passed away rather suddenly the summer of my twelfth year. This sent me into a major emotional tailspin for months into the school year of junior high. When basketball started up I found playing time a welcome relief to the emotional intensity that was playing in the backdrop of my mind like a calculus challenge 24/7.

The one thing I was desperate to hear was a bit of assurance… the simple signal that all was going to return to stable – that one day clear sailing would return.

The new kid on our team was Ken. He was a tall among humans even at that point – he measured in at about 6’8”. For giggles Ken could reach up to the basketball netting with no leap whatsoever. By springing just a couple of more inches he could do serious damage to the rim. I loved yelling at our opponents who were not yet aware of our secret weapon – ‘Did you bring your adult diapers? You may need them!’ (Is ‘taunting’ a spiritual gift?)

Our entire strategy was simple:

Get ball.

Dribble ball carefully downcourt – SJOGREN NOTHING FANCY!

Pass ball to Ken. Ken will take care of the rest.

Sure enough Coach Day’s strategy worked. Ken scored the points. Yet we were a team just the same.

In only one game did we fail to more than double the other team’s score! We didn’t just win, we nearly sent them into therapy (all apologies to Kingman, KS Jr. High’s team that year – the quadrupling of your score was not intentional…)

Years later when Ken headed up the University of Kansas’ bid in the NCAA playoffs he took them all the way to the ‘Sweet 16.’ His guards and forwards overshot. There were lots of ‘air-balls’ yet Ken persevered and made over 30 points in the last and losing game.

The only thing I could think of as the game proceeded was the simple strategy from years gone by, ‘Just throw it to Ken and it will be alright.’

God shows up to do what no one can accomplish. He fills us / heals us in ways we are not aware we are needy.

Here’s to all the myriad of fatherless fathers who wonder, ‘What in the world am I doing in this father gig? I don’t speak this language, but I am called to be fluent…’

Fathers, replace the above line ‘Ken’ with ‘Holy Spirit.’ Make that our super direct strategy. We are ready to roll.

Everybody Needs a Model Or Two To Be Effective

‘People never do what you say - only what you do
…then only after you have salted them down…’

What / Who Is An Approximate Leader Metaphor You Relate To?

As we venture through life, influential personalities pass our way. Some of these are distant influencers. They touch us through their books, blogs – the proverbial ship passing in the night. Others stay longer. Rarely does an influential we come to love and respect leave without heat though. ‘Parting is with great sorrow’ as Shakespeare captured it so well. This fascinating dynamic is a worthwhile study in various biographies that are honest enough to get past the silly surface-grin and down to what we all know to be the real story we all suffer through. (Bobby Clinton has a grasp on this matter as well any anyone on the planet. His tomes The Making of A Leader and Connecting are in my top 100 list of ‘Just Gotta Buy, Read, and Re-Read.’ Don’t ask for this list – it’s not together yet…)

(NOTE: I officially no longer waste my time actually ‘reading’ books unless they ‘re-read’ worthy. As many know, I am a graduate of the ‘Evelyn Wood-Head Sped-Redding School of Sped Redding’ to quote Cheech and Chong. I do scan lots of books still – but scanning and carefully reading are far different matters.)

All effective leaders have lived long enough to realize they lack the marbles to accomplish the humongous goal Jesus has placed in their heart. To get there, some amazing, serendipitous supply is needed. The greatest part of God’s supply will always arrive in the form of content – the wisdom God provides that can come from people alone.

Question:

Is there a metaphor you can use to help people relate to your leadership style?

There are numerous aspects needed to describe the breadth of how you relate as a leader:

• The communication aspect of your leadership
• The way you connect with people; the way you don’t connect (more important)

People now tell me who I remind them of so I don’t really need a metaphor often.

May I recommend one to you if you are searching or starting out?

Jack Black – the funny man who is all about finding the good in people and is not afraid to climb into situations or fend for the downtrodden.
Best of all – Jack is self-deprecating. It is hard to not follow one like this. Today, if you can’t tell on yourself, be yourself, you are sunk.

Mind you, however, that with Jack as a metaphor there come built-in weaknesses to be aware of…

You are an easy target by weak, opportunistic leaders around you who are not living vulnerably.

If you like this topic, tune in to Steve Sjogren’s free one-hour coaching session on ShapeVine.com. Look on that site for the next scheduled coaching session. There you can see, hear, ask questions with the cutting edge technology employed by the ShapeVine.com site.

Short People Got No… Need For Toilet Plungers

… of strengths, limits, liabilities

While in Denver recently doing some city-wide training with leaders, I stayed with some friends. They have renovated a house that is beautiful, ornate… and has old plumbing.

This couple have children that are adults, are out of the house. Both of them are just over five feet tall. Their children are about the same size. Fortunately they are Hispanic so they have not been tortured by Hobbit jokes (Hobbits look nothing like a Central or South American).

Here’s the problem: I am nearly 6′3″. In ALL WAYS my life is different than theirs for the most part.

Without ruining your appetite for the next 48 hours, I will put this delicately. These kind, wonderful folks were gone most of the day when I arrived. That’s fine by me - I write all day. Just need oxygen, water, a Venti Starbucks dark blend, enough half and half to color the coffee khaki and three Splendas. I’m in my own world(s) for 8 to 12 hours. Nature does call however. When it did, their flushing mechanism was clearly not designed for people of normal size - IE, over 5 feet tall and all that goes with that (enough said). Upon a search, I discovered they have no plunger. I called them. “We’ve lived there for fifteen years and have never needed a plunger.”

“Do you ever have people over five feet tall here visiting?”

“As a matter of fact, only family visits. You’re right - they are all rather short like us. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

I walked down the street to Wal-Mart and bought them their first two plungers (Sam’s was less expensive but they didn’t need two dozen).

In writing and posting this blog I hope you as a reader can appreciate the risk I am taking with those who - uh, aren’t members of the Servant Evangelism or Steve Sjogren Fan Club.

But hey, I’m game for stepping out on the limb to make a point or two.

1. Leaders, it’s time to face up to our limitations.

The notion of the Peter Principle - we tend to gravitate to our greatest strength - then we take one more step. That last step occurs when others ‘promote’ us and we don’t speak up… when we fail to tell them, “I’m not about this. I’m not qualified. I’m not called. There is not fruit here. I’ve gotta be me.”

Re-read Dr. Peter’s book (you can find it on Amazon). Memorize the simple principles. Pray for utter, cut-throat self-honesty. If you don’t, you are dooming yourself and those around you - most sadly your family who choose loyalty to you in spite of an utter lack of skill, anointing, ‘getty-up.’

2. With strengths (some think being 6′3″ is a good thing) always come liabilities.

Real short on this. You are a genius at something. SomeTHING as in singular. You may do another thing that is pretty outstanding. There may be a third matter you are way above average. If you are a wise person, you will develop those three - then gather a team around you. You will not need to apologize for being who God made you to be. You will merely need to be brutally honest. To fake or miscommunicate on the fourth matter and beyond…

To quote the prophet Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’

Valentines Day - the universal celebration of love.

Anyone keen on walking in, learning about, and speaking the fluent language of love will be electrified this day.   Get excited - spread some around.   You aren’t the source of it so take a risk here and love like there’s no tomorrow!   (I can tell you from experience, you may be right in that guess).

Problem is - many if not most who are purveyors of love as part of their role sketch - turns out they / we aren’t so great at it.   Not so great until the yogurt hits the fan anyway.  

Most pastors I know (myself included) deeply love people… in theory.   Hey, it’s in their job description.

“Humanity I love, its people I can’t stand…” - Charles Schultz

This line could well be the universal static cling window sticker of pastors.

Change usually happens in me when I get sick and tired of my own pathetic, lackluster, embarrassing ways. Strong change in me is almost always preceded by an emotional double slap to the face (after which the appropriate response is, “Thanks, I needed that.”)   Such encounters are usually delivered accidentally - in the category of ‘out of the mouth of babes’ communication. Nearly always the “Slap” that begins the needed change means nothing to the “slapper” but plenty to the “slapee” so long as they are paying just a bit of attention to life. 

A mega domino toppling began some years ago when driving with my daughter Laura. She is the quietest and greatest people noticer of the three in my quiver. We were on a “Date” to see a film.  On our way we had seen several people holding the pervasive ‘Will Work For Food’ signs.  In the space of a fifteen-minute drive we passed by three sign holders on various corners. She asked the obvious - ‘Dad, you talk about showing love to people all the time. Why don’t you show love to those people too?’

I began to give her my standard ‘Well dear, it’s complicated… addicts… systemic behaviors… ‘ After a few syllables of that nonsense I literally grew nauseous at myself. This was one heck of a slappish moment for me. If I live to be one hundred that moment will stand out as one of the great slaps of a lifetime for me! 

The notion of having a policy regarding how to respond to people in need, with signs, for example, seems absurd. ‘Policies’ about ‘love’ - someone please explain how those two words fit into the same sentence. I’m all ears on that one.   How about we join in what Jesus is up to in given situations. In short, ‘Go with God!’

A need is not an invitation to act upon. If that is confused we will need more therapy and an increase in our meds shortly.

Our invitation came that day.

Another sign holder crossed our path.  This time it was a couple.   They were low IQ people who had set up in front of a store in the downtown area. I had chatted with them previously … and walked past them. They sold chewing gum and mints to cover their expenses as they sat on a piece of cardboard on the sidewalk.

Laura got it first. (Dang it, why are kids so intuitive?)

I asked Laura to pick out her favorite flavor of chewing gum.   Our payment was made with the cash we had in pocket to pay for the film we were going to see on our ‘date.’ Don’t recall how much it was but it was all we had.   It was the most expensive chewing gum I have ever purchased!

As we continued to walk, Laura asked, “How are we going to see the movie now? That was all we had to go to the movies with.” With that she smiled!
This was a rhetorical question from Laura. The look she gave me was in Lauraish style - it was a huge ‘Attaboy Dad!   You’re catching on now!’
Oh yeah, we did end up going to the movies - our ‘movie’ was a couple of episodes of Scooby Doo. Well worth the investment.

“Love one another deeply… for love covers a multitude of sins!”
1 Peter 4:8

Do Something… how ’bout now

"Something good is about to happen!"

Those are the words to more than one famous song, and those are the plans that came out of these two days together. 

I won’t spill the beans completely - indeed, the plans aren’t yet complete, but suffice it to say, a major city in the U.S. will be targeted this summer (2008) and about thirty of us will converge there to see what we believe will be some amazing things in the realm of evangelism. 

I am not the deepest student of Church history, but I am not unaware of the topic either…  I have never heard of a single city being targeted in the evangelistic cross-hairs by thirty veteran, fruitful evangelists for a 10-14 day time frame (at each their own expense!).

This event will certainly stir up positive national, mainstream media attention - to the counter flow of a long, uninterrupted stream of super negative articles on "Tele-evangelist" failures (big difference between ‘tele-evangelists’ and evangelists, btw!).

I am excited about this for many reasons - near the top:

Everyone present agreed we must lead the way here with acts of generosity, kindness, love that is done without strings attached. 

One guy from New Zealand stood up at the end with tremors in his voice to say he was recently on a long flight.  Out of curiosity he asked several dozen people on the plane, "Who is the most influential Christian in this generation in your opinion?"  He said there were only two people mentioned.  Every single non-American replied, "Mother Teresa."  Each said she was one who did what she talked about.  Every American replied the same as well - "Billy Graham."  When asked why they said, "He’s a nice guy…"  This Kiwi and all non-Americans in the room had a look on their faces like, "Do you Americans get it?"  I did - I have lived outside the U.S. for a number of years. 

I suspect Billy Graham might well be in the Mother Teresa fan club as well honestly. 

Without the integrity of the ‘do’ all the words in the world mean less than nothing.  "Why ‘less’ than nothing?" 

Because words become a cancer at that point that erode people’s capacity to believe anything said.  Words become a vulnerability that cause others to doubt anything spoken eventually. 

It’s first grade all over again, folks.  It’s show and tell time.  First we show.  Then we can tell - actually, we just answer questions.

Leaders - how do we stay in sync with the life of the Spirit so we continue to love, live, flow with the care of God for the not-yet believers around us?

- Not just because it is the right thing to do

- But because that devotion is the center of the heart of Jesus? 

If today you don’t see life from that end of the kaleidoscope, return to the gospels please. 

I urge you. 

Return to normal. 

Ask the Holy Spirit to allow you to see as you once saw - to see the spirit and heart and soul of the scriptures as only those who are enlivened can see. 

This is the once upon a time normal we re-engage with.  Whether from

sloth,

sheer laziness,

discouragement,

depression

the ‘encouragement’ of other believers that reaching out to others was no big deal…

- let’s ask God’s Spirit to call us back to True North that syncs with his word - feelings or not. 

I’d rather agree with Jesus than be comfortable. 

How ’bout you?

"I desire kindness, not sacrifice."  Hosea 6:6 

As we connect with family or old friends let’s love our nearest with heart, soul, mind and strength.  Rather, let’s yield to God loving through us.

“Be strong and of good courage…”
Joshua chapter 1 is a chapter for leaders to read, soak upon, repeat steps one and two frequently.
 
To be an original is impossible without the kinetic power of God resting upon each of us.
 
On this day of the Lord, call upon him as the leader he has made you to be.
 
“Oh God, I am what I am.  I can’t be anything else.  You mold me.  I humble myself under your care.  Let the adventure continue this week more and more.  You direct the hose as it flow.  Be it a fire hose or a garden hose.  I am yours.”

Picking it up from yesterday… re. the ripeness of the fields…
         B.  Leaders can see the ripeness of the fields.
Another way to put it – leaders see what God is doing.  Leaders focus their attention upon what IS happening.  Leaders build upon strengths, not weaknesses.
 
I have been told by inept, non-leaders in somewhat convincing ways that it is a good thing to be “balanced.”  You might want to copy and paste this line:  “Balance is for sissies.”
Balance only exists in a vacuum.
There is no balance in nature – never has been, never will be.
I am not against environmentalists.  I have my Sierra Club calendar on the wall.  Love the pictures.  On the other hand, without a living relationship with the Living God there is a propensity for humans to seek to enforce “balance” that is non-existent upon all things – when in fact that state will never exist.
 
Jesus called out leaders who had a seminal focus – a seminal, one of a kind strength.  Then he encouraged that “one thing” (to quote Curley from City Slickers, still the concept is thoroughly biblical) to flourish by the presence of the Holy Spirit big time.
 
The kingdom of God was carried out by a virtual army of “one thing” people walking out the message for generations until more than half of the world was converted – that is 350 A.D.

“The fields are white unto harvest… pray for workers for the harvest.”
 
I love that verse. 
 
I have only in the past few years come to realize that very few teachers “rightly divide” that verse considering the simple context of it.
 
You have no doubt heard this taught as an invitation from Jesus to raise up “leaders.”  Yes, maybe that is so, in a very indirect way that is so.  It is of course true that God is calling current leaders to raise up leaders.  However that is not in the least what Jesus is calling for here.  This is a commentary about:

A.   The constant condition of the receptivity of human hearts anywhere, everywhere is ripe – at least a decent percentage are ripe.

Let’s rephrase that without losing anything Jesus said.  “The fields are white unto harvest…”  He didn’t put any conditions upon that observation.  I have heard so many many many pastors – leaders tell me, “You don’t understand how things are here… this is a super tough place… it isn’t like it is in Cincinnati… or Los Angeles… or D.C… or Oslo where you have been.”  Hello!  All of those places are actually in the category of “spiritual graveyards.  I won’t get into it here, but each of those areas have been described by numerous evangelists as being graveyards.  It’s not about the geography for those who are hyper-spiritual and are seeing more than God himself concerning the “reigning spirits…”  Wow… someone tell me to ‘come on!’  The issue is always just this:  “Are you willing to notice what God IS doing… Are you willing to notice WHO God IS touching, IS inviting.”  Guaranteed, wherever you are, Jesus is at work with a huge percentage of your local population.  If you don’t agree with me that’s fine.  You are wrong.  Be wrong if you like.  But you are wrong.  Jesus says so, and I agree.