Category — Observations

Have you noticed that on every cover of Oprah’s magazine she is smiling? Think what you want, but I believe her smile is sincere. She does nothing for financial gain—that point in her life passed long ago. For Oprah, it’s about spiritual meaning.

Measuring America’s Spiritual Hunger
If spiritual health is measured according to outward matters, the decline of the Roman, Protestant (you name it) empire is upon us. But maybe spiritual health is not so one-dimensional as 30-second phone polls can measure when we are disturbed in the evening hours.

Attendance, size, the counting of heads is not the sole barometer most “Influentials” in history have relied upon to measure the state of true spiritual affairs.

Jesus did not pay one spit of attention to the fluctuating attendance of the crowds who showed up when He spoke. If He had bought into this emotional roller coaster of such passing silliness, confusion would have perhaps ensued.

If we insist on counting something, Jesus might encourage us to count backward—to measure what we divest ourselves of. America has had it with “come and see” spirituality. Now is the day of “go and do.” And Jesus launched that movement some time ago.

Does Oprah Understand What Others Don’t?
Oprah has vast spiritual influence over most of the Western world. When Oprah speaks, things happen.

This is no news flash, though. Oprah’s vast influence extends beyond the media scene and into the deepest parts of the spiritual heart of the United States. How? you wonder. She is in touch with non-complex heart leanings in each of us—inclinations that have been placed in us by God.

On her hit prime-time show, Oprah’s Big Give, Oprah has noticed the power generosity has to change lives. Like every reality show, this one has an abundance of adrenaline-filled contestants. Jumping abounds. There is an unnatural amount of smiling going on. But her show is unique as well. The winner is the one who gives away the greatest amount of money over several weeks—in as wise ways as possible.

Ms. Oprah has tapped into the depths of all of us. It’s the “if money were no object” dream we talk about—and this dream is becoming viral. Everyone is chatting about it. This virus might just get out of control, in the best sense.

Kindness, Schmindness. So What?
Kindness is a word that has been bandied about in recent years. We confuse it with similar words (like niceness), but it stands head and shoulders above synonyms.

You might wonder, Why bring God into this consideration? The “God factor” is what distinguishes kindness from niceness or other even less powerful encounters. Any of us can be nice when the mood strikes us, when we are feeling rested, well, etc. Kindness is another matter completely. Kindness, to be clear, is only possible when God shows up.

You and I don’t know each other, but this I suspect about you: Regardless of how broken your upbringing may have been, there were moments when kindness occurred along your journey.

I did not grow up attending church (to be accurate, I was downright skeptical of all things church-ish), but I can now see the seeds of kindness that were scattered into my soul, which led to a profound conversion during college. Those seeds were slow-growing, undetected, but they eventually bore fruit. It was God at work beneath the surface.

When our lives have been touched by authentic kindness, we tend to never forget those moments. They are everlasting, living encounters. Only the God of the universe can orchestrate such.

Friend or Faux?
In recent years, many have begun to notice the latent power of kindness, serving and generosity. More than a small percentage of spiritual organizations have sought to use kindness as a tool—something to promote a message. In that equation, the understanding is: We serve; then people will listen. Kindness is not a tool one can use to gain advantage over others!

Any thinking in this direction is to manipulate both God and His people. Neither God nor most people will put up with such nonsense. People are not oblivious when agendas are present. To be kind but not genuine is to destroy the possible conveying of any positive message.

Indeed, a message will be conveyed—a tragic one where cocooning occurs. That is, those in the community isolate themselves further and further away from anything down the road that is real.

Breaking Free
When God’s kindness is loosed, a culture begins to build. Each day I connect with many people in simple ways that ease their burdens—much like Oprah. One hundred percent of them ask why I am showing them practical kindness (paying for their Starbucks drink, showing them respect by remembering their names at the places I frequent, getting cashiers a bottle of water and insisting they take it).

There is plenty to chat with people about when kindness is afoot. Let’s just go and do with a clean heart.

Short People Got No… Need For Toilet Plungers

… of strengths, limits, liabilities

While in Denver recently doing some city-wide training with leaders, I stayed with some friends. They have renovated a house that is beautiful, ornate… and has old plumbing.

This couple have children that are adults, are out of the house. Both of them are just over five feet tall. Their children are about the same size. Fortunately they are Hispanic so they have not been tortured by Hobbit jokes (Hobbits look nothing like a Central or South American).

Here’s the problem: I am nearly 6′3″. In ALL WAYS my life is different than theirs for the most part.

Without ruining your appetite for the next 48 hours, I will put this delicately. These kind, wonderful folks were gone most of the day when I arrived. That’s fine by me - I write all day. Just need oxygen, water, a Venti Starbucks dark blend, enough half and half to color the coffee khaki and three Splendas. I’m in my own world(s) for 8 to 12 hours. Nature does call however. When it did, their flushing mechanism was clearly not designed for people of normal size - IE, over 5 feet tall and all that goes with that (enough said). Upon a search, I discovered they have no plunger. I called them. “We’ve lived there for fifteen years and have never needed a plunger.”

“Do you ever have people over five feet tall here visiting?”

“As a matter of fact, only family visits. You’re right - they are all rather short like us. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

I walked down the street to Wal-Mart and bought them their first two plungers (Sam’s was less expensive but they didn’t need two dozen).

In writing and posting this blog I hope you as a reader can appreciate the risk I am taking with those who - uh, aren’t members of the Servant Evangelism or Steve Sjogren Fan Club.

But hey, I’m game for stepping out on the limb to make a point or two.

1. Leaders, it’s time to face up to our limitations.

The notion of the Peter Principle - we tend to gravitate to our greatest strength - then we take one more step. That last step occurs when others ‘promote’ us and we don’t speak up… when we fail to tell them, “I’m not about this. I’m not qualified. I’m not called. There is not fruit here. I’ve gotta be me.”

Re-read Dr. Peter’s book (you can find it on Amazon). Memorize the simple principles. Pray for utter, cut-throat self-honesty. If you don’t, you are dooming yourself and those around you - most sadly your family who choose loyalty to you in spite of an utter lack of skill, anointing, ‘getty-up.’

2. With strengths (some think being 6′3″ is a good thing) always come liabilities.

Real short on this. You are a genius at something. SomeTHING as in singular. You may do another thing that is pretty outstanding. There may be a third matter you are way above average. If you are a wise person, you will develop those three - then gather a team around you. You will not need to apologize for being who God made you to be. You will merely need to be brutally honest. To fake or miscommunicate on the fourth matter and beyond…

To quote the prophet Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’

- the fine art of church suicide

“My word… I now know for certain. My church has lost its collective mind…” - Bob, the cowboy commentator and church consultant

My friend Bob looked up from reading the blog on his laptop. He pulled off his reading glasses with some drama as he does when miffed (an effective technique - you might consider picking up a pair of spectacles whether you need them or not).

Bob explained his ‘Mad-as-a-hornet, can’t take no more’ response.

He wasn’t one bit negative. Deep love and pain was emerging.

“I’ve always thought when someone takes their own life that they are out of their mind - at least at that moment. Maybe this holds true for groups when they do the same…”

Bob’s words hung in the air - like a slow moving indoor cloud hovering in the room. Bob spoke a drop dead amazing truth.

One thing is certain - 100% of the innumerable groups who succeeded in a suicide attempt - not one was thinking clearly at the moment of the ultimate deed.

Is there a pattern that leads up to a church or a spiritual movement to self-destruct? Ponder these common patterns that lead up to what lemmings do each spring.

•Celebrating The Tragedy of Others… other leaders / churches!

“They finally got what was coming them them / him / her. Yep, God got ‘em good. You can’t fool Him…”

If you haven’t thought this or said it you likely aren’t thinking back hard enough. Human nature makes such behavior tendencies natural to us all. Call it “The Martha Stewart Effect.” She goes to prison without protesting the initial sentence dished out to her. Amazingly, the vast majority of Americans decided they hated Martha - they decided to enthusiastically believe the worst about her. There is something particularly savory about believing the worst about those who have been highly successful in life. This goes double for the leaders of large churches. ‘They are large because they are doing something that’s not kosher…’ (No names here please…)

Recommend: Start praying for a church each week like this, “God we ask you to bless this other church today - we ask you to profoundly touch them today more than us…”

•Church Suicide Comes From The Passive Condoning of Toxic Attitudes
Rarely will leaders in the local church clearly say aloud what is as negative as what is carried about in the heart. “We really don’t like people who aren’t like us…” Who in their right mind would cop to that?… especially official leaders. Yet can you explain how it is that great public efforts are taken to increase attendance yet the ‘backdoor’ siphons more out than in?

Recommend: If you are one who speaks or has a voice into the leadership, be candid about your heart. Fear keeps us stuck and away rather than toward people. To like people is more costly than to love people very often!

•Church Suicide Begins With Bombastic Attitudes
“We really are all that - and more!” No comment necessary.

Recommend: Pray with an honest, open heart. Start with confessions. When God shows up honesty tends to happen.

Bob never told me what upset him that day. That wasn’t the point. He loves his heritage. Even more he loves the Church at large - as do I on both points. Maybe we are on the same boat as it works in fellow-ship.

When We Fake It We Look Goofy - Even Freakish

My grandma from Paris, Texas was full of colorful expressions.  She didn’t so much speak English - she communicated in one metaphor after another.  One of my favorites was:

Nana instilled in me a respect for authenticity and skepticism for the fake. 

There is a bit of fake in you, me, all of us (fake = aspiring to define ourselves by something / someone we are not). (Thus far, all the people I have met on the planet are of those offspring - if you meet someone beyond that please call me at once - I’ll figure out a way to get there immediately … I really need to interview them.) 

To be a ‘cat standing on its hind legs’ is a site to imagine. 

Mainly she told me this ditty was in reference to people trying to behave properly when they were not wired that way deep down.  That is, one way inside, but trying to behave the opposite on the outside.  Life just doesn’t swing that way - at least not for long, for any of us. 

The prayer of former walking cats:

"Here I am God. Love through me - the real me. Ignite me - the real me. Invite many through me - the real me. Thank you for your invitation to me that I am - as I am!"

Let the filters fall.

Notice what is going on through me … I cease hesitating, I engage with you - let the world change. 

Yes Gerald, it really is that untangled … thank you for asking!

Valentines Day - the universal celebration of love.

Anyone keen on walking in, learning about, and speaking the fluent language of love will be electrified this day.   Get excited - spread some around.   You aren’t the source of it so take a risk here and love like there’s no tomorrow!   (I can tell you from experience, you may be right in that guess).

Problem is - many if not most who are purveyors of love as part of their role sketch - turns out they / we aren’t so great at it.   Not so great until the yogurt hits the fan anyway.  

Most pastors I know (myself included) deeply love people… in theory.   Hey, it’s in their job description.

“Humanity I love, its people I can’t stand…” - Charles Schultz

This line could well be the universal static cling window sticker of pastors.

Change usually happens in me when I get sick and tired of my own pathetic, lackluster, embarrassing ways. Strong change in me is almost always preceded by an emotional double slap to the face (after which the appropriate response is, “Thanks, I needed that.”)   Such encounters are usually delivered accidentally - in the category of ‘out of the mouth of babes’ communication. Nearly always the “Slap” that begins the needed change means nothing to the “slapper” but plenty to the “slapee” so long as they are paying just a bit of attention to life. 

A mega domino toppling began some years ago when driving with my daughter Laura. She is the quietest and greatest people noticer of the three in my quiver. We were on a “Date” to see a film.  On our way we had seen several people holding the pervasive ‘Will Work For Food’ signs.  In the space of a fifteen-minute drive we passed by three sign holders on various corners. She asked the obvious - ‘Dad, you talk about showing love to people all the time. Why don’t you show love to those people too?’

I began to give her my standard ‘Well dear, it’s complicated… addicts… systemic behaviors… ‘ After a few syllables of that nonsense I literally grew nauseous at myself. This was one heck of a slappish moment for me. If I live to be one hundred that moment will stand out as one of the great slaps of a lifetime for me! 

The notion of having a policy regarding how to respond to people in need, with signs, for example, seems absurd. ‘Policies’ about ‘love’ - someone please explain how those two words fit into the same sentence. I’m all ears on that one.   How about we join in what Jesus is up to in given situations. In short, ‘Go with God!’

A need is not an invitation to act upon. If that is confused we will need more therapy and an increase in our meds shortly.

Our invitation came that day.

Another sign holder crossed our path.  This time it was a couple.   They were low IQ people who had set up in front of a store in the downtown area. I had chatted with them previously … and walked past them. They sold chewing gum and mints to cover their expenses as they sat on a piece of cardboard on the sidewalk.

Laura got it first. (Dang it, why are kids so intuitive?)

I asked Laura to pick out her favorite flavor of chewing gum.   Our payment was made with the cash we had in pocket to pay for the film we were going to see on our ‘date.’ Don’t recall how much it was but it was all we had.   It was the most expensive chewing gum I have ever purchased!

As we continued to walk, Laura asked, “How are we going to see the movie now? That was all we had to go to the movies with.” With that she smiled!
This was a rhetorical question from Laura. The look she gave me was in Lauraish style - it was a huge ‘Attaboy Dad!   You’re catching on now!’
Oh yeah, we did end up going to the movies - our ‘movie’ was a couple of episodes of Scooby Doo. Well worth the investment.

“Love one another deeply… for love covers a multitude of sins!”
1 Peter 4:8

“Do I just look dumb to you or what? You give me your little bottle of water then expect me to show up at your church a few days later.  How lame is that?!”

These are the words of someone I ran into not long ago as we distributed several thousand bottles of water at a busy corner in the Tampa area.  The approach is simple:

‘Light turns red - ask ‘Which would you prefer, this or this?’ (right hand water or left hand water - we don’t ask the closed ended ‘Would you like some water?’ - that is lame - people usually laugh when we offer the left or right handed water!)  After people receive water just once they begin to call us the “Water People!”  There are worse things to be known for.

This is all based on the simple observation that a deposit of credibility is necessary before we have any expectation whatsoever of having credibility with people in our city.  ‘Words of love’ are hollow, perhaps absurd, to the culture of today without preceding actions of love that connect with people.  Those actions vary from place to place.

“Don’t Shoot - I’m Just The Piano Player!”

Unfortunately, more than a few have picked up on the above observation and have attempted to influence others by serving - in inauthentic ways.  You ask, “Who says they are inauthentic?”

These are the observations of numerous national newspaper reports.  As well, these are the rumblings of not-yet believers who feel insulted at what they sense is an attempt to ‘sell them’ on something.  I make it a practice of connecting with not-yet believers pretty much every day - it isn’t that difficult.  Buy the coffee for the person behind you at Starbucks.  If you have five or ten minutes an automatic conversation ensues.  I hear a lot of chatter about “Marketing” by serving these days.  (NOTE: It is interesting to me that of the literally several thousand I have bought coffee for, not one has ever asked me what I was trying to push on them or any notion remotely in that direction… less than five have ultimately turned me down of that huge group - they all lived in Iowa for some reason!)

I have been around the block in the church world enough in recent years to know this observation is right on.  Marketing is death in any form it takes - this is exponentially true for the church scene.  Seth Godin said it well in his book title recently, All Marketers Are Liars!  It is one thing to inform people.  Any attempt to ‘persuade’ people regarding your church without a willingness to establish a relationship for the long haul - is futility.  

(The guy who uttered the words at the beginning? We spoke for about five minutes. I confessed, “There is a big difference between me handing out a bottle of water and Jesus touching people’s needs or pain.” The light went on. He began to tear up. He asked, “So what time do you meet? Do you have a children’s program? My wife and I have been talking about church lately - funny we would cross paths.” This was a 180-degree shift. It helped that I had this conversation a time or two before…)

Engage, Don’t Panic  

This desperation thinking troubles me greatly. This is not what Jesus had in mind when he charged the Apostles to freely give what they had experienced firsthand for three years, 24/7 - to bring the ‘Logos’ to the ends of the Earth.  

The Logos?  “In the beginning was the Word (logos)… and the Word (logos) was God…”  We bring Jesus - in word, in deed, in Spirit.  To be clever is okay.  To see God’s presence branded upon hearts - ah, that lasts a lifetime, no matter how long the initial encounter. 

The goal we aspire to at the end of these weeks - as I wrote on Monday - is to become fairly professional.

To be perfectly clear - we are not grasping to become excellent. 

To quote the mohawk wearing prophet of the 80s, Mr. T - “I pity the fool who is reaching for excellence.”

Some may naively think God is into excellence.  You couldn’t be further from the truth.  “I’ll do my best for God” is not what excellence is about in the least. 

The “I’ll do my best…” line is another topic to open up (which could be great / could be something else - we’ll save that for another time). 

Excellence was a short-lived trend Tom Peters started with his mega-selling book of the mid-80s In Search of Excellence.  In church world years, that means the most advanced echo-ish thinkers and writers picked up on Peters about 7.5 years later… with the rest of the church getting it 15 years later.

Jesus has never been about the message of excellence.

Quite the contrary in fact.  Jesus had a ministry to those who were wrecked by those who in God’s name forced excellence upon all around. 
The gospels do have a repeating story of people being called to matters of excellence.

It is the "You’re not quite good enough" message that is often repeated by Temple leaders on page after page of the gospel accounts.  Their line to those who came to make a sacrifice was “Your dove is not quite good enough sacrifice material.  However today we happen to have a special on sacrifice doves.  Tell you what we can do for you - I don’t know what I’m saying - I must be out of my mind to talk this way - if my boss heard this crazy talk I’d be canned in a second… Yes this dove is somewhat more expensive than what you can afford (ten times more), but hey, it is expensive in order to please God… You need to have a perfect sacrifice.  That’s what sacrifice is all about… We are building our empire here… someone has to foot the bills… Doves don’t grow on trees you know” (Yes they do sit on branches in trees but that’s not the same).

Looks like I will be a guest on the Glenn Beck Show one day in the next week or two.

If you are not a listener to him, (conservative discussion format),

- Beck (this one doesn’t play the guitar and doesn’t have many ideas about doing videos…)

- he had a brush with death during a flubbed surgical experience recently.

“The surgeons messed up? How weird is that…!”

I am downright enthusiastic about bringing this matter more into the spotlight. We are all aware that doctors have lots of rights. The question is, “When do we begin to ask about patient rights?” (Tomorrow ask that…)

Doctors have four or more additional years of schooling beyond what most of us have received - do they deserve those rights without question?

I have discovered in talking with a number of doctors who have served on medical school admissions boards. These people make the final decisions as to who is allowed in and who is rejected into med school. I always wondered what I.Q. admissions boards were looking for - inquiring minds want to know…

Care to take a guess?

There is an exact I.Q. though I suspect no one who has served on such a committee would allow themselves to be formally quoted on this.

The I.Q. being sought is… 122.

Let me rephrase that - just 122.

I am in sync with the numerous books written by Daniel Goldman that I.Q. is a poor indicator of one’s potential in life. Perhaps the case can be made, even, that unless we mentally impaired, all of us are gifted in some way - physically, emotionally, mathematically, etc.

However when it comes to the age old concept of I.Q. - meaning, one’s capacity to take on, assimilate information, creatively solve problems, I have this crazy idea that a surgeon who is in charge of me making it out alive from a surgery, ought to be as intelligent as me.

However, 122 is not even close to being in the ‘gifted’ range of I.Q.

My choice: When it comes to being worked on by a surgeon, turn to someone who is at least 20 points higher than your I.Q.

Apparently that is hard to come by these days.

(Continued from yesterday…)

4. We cannot violate who we really are.
People can see who we are. We cannot hide our stripes. Oddly, the longest term ones present are the only people who have convinced themselves that something ‘innovative’ is going on. As old-timers, we can try so hard to reinvent ourselves, we nearly hypnotize ourselves into believing we no longer need deodorant, that we are now unique, we don’t stink like everyone else! Yet, the truth is the truth. Look in the mirror right now and say, “You need Right Guard! That’s the truth.”

If we do violate who we are, we simply look utterly foolish and like robots marching forward.

If you haven’t seen Steve Martin’s The Jerk lately, rent it, better yet, buy it and force yourself to watch it somewhat regularly. This classic comedy is a metaphor of innovation that is false. “I was born a poor black child…”

When you are the only “black child” who cannot clap in syncopation, something is up! The truth is you are actually Norwegian! The straight blonde hair was the first sign of the truth. The clapping impairment was another sign.

The God of heaven and Earth, the God who created all we see, dwells in each of us as the simple followers of Jesus. As I ponder this profound truth, my anticipation for seeing seminal ideas appear in my life rises greatly.

“God, we must hear from you or we are sunk!” Now let’s walk in expectancy.

(Continued from yesterday…)

3. Talk of innovation can easily become a derision to God.
When we over-talk about the power of innovation we are, wordsmithing aside, beginning to tread upon thin ice with God. We come very close to insulting God when we overly trust in our creativity. God is interested in receiving glory and credit for what is accomplished in his church as momentum occurs. His nature is to draw attention to himself. That is worship.

Over-dependence upon pseudo-creativity versus the God-inspired seminal factor looks like this:
When the focus begins to shift onto the style versus the content with our message, we have likely crossed the line of appropriateness.

If we are doing a series built loosely around the TV series “Heroes” (as thousands of churches have done in the past eighteen months) we need to ask:
“What is the ‘eye roll factor’ present here?” That is, how many are going to groan when they see the elements of the TV show we are inserting each week in this series?

At the end of the day ask, “How many had to choke down the corniness of what we tried to convey, even though we convinced ourselves that this was a ‘culture current’ metaphor…when the most culture-current people present were so embarrassed they stopped bringing their friends during this series? (This is a real example I am aware of that happened in several churches across the U.S. with series based upon that show)

(Continued tomorrow…)